Christmas and New Year’s Day are annual holidays that can be very difficult for people who have experienced the loss of a loved one.
Watching others who are feeling thankful and are celebrating when you feel overwhelmed, lonely or sad can be very painful.
Here are some Tips for Coping with Grief and Loss during the Holidays
Set realistic expectations for yourself. Decide if you can still handle the responsibilities you’ve had in the past. Examine the tasks and events of celebrating and ask yourself if you want to continue them. Take others up on offers to cook, shop or decorate.
Surround yourself with people who love and support you. Share your plans with family and friends and let them know of any intended changes in holiday routine. Memories can sometimes be a source of comfort to the bereaved. Share your memories with others of holidays spent with your loved one by telling stories and looking at photo albums.
Try to avoid “canceling” the holiday despite the temptation. It is OK to avoid some circumstances that you don’t feel ready to handle, but don’t isolate yourself. Allow yourself some time for solitude, remembering and grieving, but balance it with planned activities with others.
Allow yourself to feel joy, sadness, anger – allow yourself to grieve. It is important to recognize that everyone will have his/her own unique grief experience and may have different needs related to celebrating the holidays. No one way is right or wrong. Experiencing joy and laughter does not mean you have forgotten your loved one.
Take care of yourself. Avoid using alcohol to self-medicate your mood. If possible, treat yourself to something you enjoy doing and find healthy ways to relax such as going to the beach, playing a sport, listening to music or getting a massage.
Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for a while, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.
Avoid bottling stuff up. Getting stuff off your chest is important. Tension can build up if you keep your feelings to yourself, and finding a way to get it out can help you feel better. You may want to talk to someone, write your thoughts down, draw, or cry.
The most important thing to remember is there is no right or wrong way to celebrate the holiday season after the death of a loved one, and that the best way to cope with that first holiday season is to plan ahead, get support from others and take it easy.
